Reflection

A little over week into the new year and I’m still reflecting. It was a year of big emotions, learning, creating, and travel. It was a year of pain, heartache, and intense joy. A year that ushered meaningful people out of my life or out of this mortal existence. And unfortunately a year where I saw my country devolve into something unrecognizable. The ugly two headed monstrosity of depression and anxiety reared its head and somehow I coaxed it back into its damp cave just in time for the Holidays.

My big takeaways and lessons from the year are as follows.

1. Life is so ugly. But life is so beautiful.
2. I must make stuff everyday.
3. Money is not my goal in life.
4. Stay busy. Stay rested.
5. Focus only on things you can control.
6. See new places.
7. Be sillier.

In the face of the ugly, I must create the beauty. I try to convince myself “it’s all good” or “it is what it is” but it isn’t all good and it isn’t what it isn’t. Make something good. Make something BETTER! I cannot live my life just existing when I can add something. Even if it’s a moment with my kid or my wife. A small thing, but it changes the balance. Evil loses when I imagine, when I build, when I craft. And no matter how big the evil gets, good blooms forth. I’m not going to change the world, but I can change my world.

One of the biggest achievements of this year is the completion of my new album Elseworthy. I started in 2023 and put it on the shelf for two years. We got out the old tracks in January after my good Randy from Ovatone helped me with the song Pollyanna. With all of us being busy parents, teachers, and students, we somehow squeezed in the time to track new instruments and vocals. Then Randy mixed it. There were a lot of late nights when I wanted to be in bed while the night owls pushed onward as I laid on the studio couch hypnagogic. I got the masters back at bed time the other night, and Rachelle really wanted to go listen in the car. So I dragged myself to the car and was relieved when Rachelle’s daughter called in the middle of the second track so I could sneak back into the bedroom.

But beyond my exhaustion, I am proud to say that I’ll be sharing this in March. I think it’s beautiful. And after this year, I think that that’s all that matters. Maybe someone else will think it’s beautiful too. Over the following weeks, I’ll be sharing about the album and what it means to me. I’m eager to share this gift with the people who have stuck around on this journey. But more than that I’m eager to make so much more in this new year.